On The Insanity of Those Who Live Below

No.  Seriously.  They are crazy.

The people who live below us, that is.

Let me explain...

You see, we live in a third floor apartment.  We love apartment living.  This is not our first and it won't be our last.  We tried that whole home-ownership gig and, quite frankly, it's just not our thing. 

Do you know that they expect you to mow your own freaking lawn AND shovel your own snow when you own the place?  Ridiculous!  Seriously. 

Anyway....so, because we are 'apartment people' we know the ins and outs and ups and downs of community living.  You tend to know when your neighbors come and go and when their 18 month old is sprinting down the hall way at full speed ahead, in all likelyhood quite convinced that he actually IS Bumblebee the Autobot.  Just say'n.

However, it appears that those who live below.  {Hghgmm Hgmghmmm} (that's the sound of a clearing throat ... just in case that wasn't abundantly apparent.  'Cause you know, my onomatopoeia skills are like the best in the world and stuff, so there shouldn't have been a problem but....SHOOT!  Tangent.  Okay...stopping now.  Moving on.)  So, yes....the people below us have no BLOODY FREAKING IDEA that an apartment building is not and never will be a silent living environment. 

It's just not going to happen.

SOOOOO.....because they refuse to accept this simple truth they have taken it upon themselves....okay...I say  'they', but I'm fairly confident that it is primarily 'she.'  Although, being that I can't prove that we will stick with 'they' for now.  K?  K.  So, they have taken it upon themselves to choose the source of the noise. 


All of it. 

All of the time.  No matter what.

Yes...if the dog in building five is howling it MUST be our dogs even though we are in building three.

Yes...if the a fore mentioned 18 month old is running down the hall it MUST be our dogs.

Yes...if the mother down the hall is screaming at the top of her extremely well made lungs at her sons it simply MUST be our dogs.

Yes...if the people across the hall are playing rock band with their ten year old daughter it MUST be our dogs.

Are you seeing the pattern here?  'Cause it's not hard, really.

Now, yes, we have two dogs in an apartment.  However, we chose this place strongly based on the fact that it is a pet-friendly community with TONS of dogs of similar breeds.  We have labs.  Neither are puppies.  Quite frankly, any of you who have labs know that once they reach about 3 or 4 their favorite activity is generally NAP TIME!  Yes, we do play from time to time, however we keep it during reasonable hours.  Although, that didn't stop the Crazies from nearly punching a hole in their ceiling/my floor because I was playing with my dog at 11am on a WEEKDAY (I was stuck home due to snow).  I KNOW!  The GALL!  How DARE I do something at such an early hour. 


And then there was the fact that my husband vacuumed the house at 7pm because his parents were coming from out of town and we had just got home from work and wanted our house to be presentable.  I guess 7pm is bedtime, because the broom stick was in full action yet again, folks.


So, seriously.  These people have complained to the leasing office who know us well and have basically nodded and smiled.  Finally we talked to the office ourselves and they decided that they would have to let them know what 'reasonable expectations' should be since these grown adults can't seem to figure this out on their own.  (It doesn't hurt that we are long time tenants who happen to rent the largest unit in the place AND pay extra for two dogs AND have referred others who have moved in based on our recommendation AND the fact that I get packages all the time so I'm pretty much friends with the entire office.  Nope.  None of that hurts at all!  Heee!)

So....the office wasn't going to help the Crazies. 

Apparently, the Crazies weren't satisfied with that one.

No...seriously....guess!!!  'Cause this one is HI-FREAKING-LARIOUS!

They called the cops.

At 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night/Thursday morning.

Yup.  They really did.  Nope.  I'm totally not kidding.  Yup.  I'm giggling even more now just thinking about it.

That crazy old lady ACTUALLY stayed up that late JUST so she could call the cops on us.

Here's the best part....both The Hubbums and I get up at 5am.  We leave between 6 and 6:30.  So....it's not a stretch to realize that we don't SEE 2:30 in the morning!  The dogs were both passed out on the bed with us.  So....Here is the scene:

Knock!  Knock!  Knock!

The Hubbums grabs MY pajama bottoms (since they were closest) and a t-shirt and goes to see who the HELL is knocking on the door at 2:30 am waking him from a dead sleep.

I continue sleeping, as it pretty much takes a brick to the head to wake me up.  Just say'n.

Maggie, the larger and older of the two dogs, annoyed that someone is at the door at 2:30am sighs heavily and goes back to sleep...still on the bed.

Thatcher, confused and being the anxious one, follows The Hubbums with caution to see who is at the door.

Nobody even barks.

The Hubbums opens the door to see a Police Officer standing there.

Officer:  Hi.  It looks like you were asleep?

The Hubbums:  Umm...yeah...it's 2:30 in the morning.  Can I help you with anything, Officer?

Officer:  Well, I had a complaint that you were making a lot of noise, (peaking around the door a bit) but you were obviously asleep, and I didn't hear anything.

The Hubbums:  It's the people downstairs.  (he continues with a mumbled, but courteous explanation of the Crazies...I don't know what he said because I just would have said they are NUTS!)

The officer then left quite quickly (and probably rather annoyed at the false call) and The Hubbums went back to bed.

Now, many would be bothered by the sleep interruption, but as I stated, I never woke up and The Hubbums is a chronic insomniac, so he got all the sleep he really needed.  He went back to bed, grabbed his Nook and read for awhile before going back to sleep.  All the time giggling just a bit at the lunacy below.

SOOOOO...this happens.  The Crazies proved themselves to be crazy not only to the leasing office, to us, but now ALSO to the Police force.  HA!!!!  I love it when they do my work for me!

The next morning, thinking she had really got us now...Mrs. Crazy ran into The Hubbums while he was taking the dogs out at 5:30 or so.  She greeted him with a huge smile and a "Well!  Hello!" as though she had just won the war....little did she know....HA!!!!!

So, The Hubbums gently let the dogs know that her 'friendly mannerisms' were, indeed, not an invite to say hello and continued on his way.

Now....we just hope she calls again so they can find her for repeated false alarms.  THAT would pretty much make my day.  Just say'n. 

CRAZIES!!!!  I tell you!

But...it does make for one SERIOUSLY funny story. 

Just say'n.

Jingle Out.



  1. Have I ever told you that you write really well? I was completely engrossed in this... great post, and so sorry you have to deal with this.

    You should print this post out on paper and shove it under her door!!

    So rude!! What a wack-a-doo!

  2. Hahaha that is funny. But there is one in every neighbourhood.

    We call ours the Nutbar.

  3. Girl, I know how you feel! I have had the same kind of problem w/the super old guy below me. I have a TODDLER. Who likes to play, sing, dance. It's not going to be silent up here, ya know? If he doesn't like it, he should move to the 3rd floor!
    He has complained about us before too. Said we were making loud running noises at night. I can assure you, no one does any running at night! My kid goes to bed, and we are quiet because we don't want to wake her. Crazies!!
    I can't believe she called the cops when you were actually asleep!! What a nut!! But hilarious that they came & nothing was going on.

  4. Crazy people. Fun to read about though!

  5. Boy did this bring back memories I too had one of those crazies that lived below me years ago and yep she called the cops on me ALL the time for normal every day house cleaning noise cleaning carpets and vacuming the floor!I had to move I couldn't take it any more!
    good luck gf!

  6. Yeah, that's pretty insane, but yes it made for a funny story. And, can I just say, glad I don't live in an apartment! I can't handle crazies. Although, I still have crazies in the neighborhood there is more distance between us! lol.

  7. Ha! This is a great story! I loved reading it! You both are handling it well and hopefully she'll move on to something else soon.

  8. Great story. Hopefully they will move soon...that is ridonculous!

  9. I'm sorry you're having to deal with a crazy person, but your writing about it is funny.

    Now see, I would BE that lady (I wouldn't call the cops, but I'd complain) so I KNOW I can't live in an apartment. Noise bothers me, and uncontrolled noise (meaning I don't control it) is worse. So, I don't do apartments. It doesn't take a lot of thought for me to know I don't belong there with my 'issue'. She should know she's not able to deal with apartment living and not expect silence.
    I'm glad she's showing everyone what she's all about. She's doing the work for you, lol.

  10. Wow, I'm betting that won't be the last call - those people normally do not quit. Perhaps... see if there was a report generated at the police station? And go get a copy of it to boost your harrassment claim when you go on judge judy?

    lol... and yeah, if you're in a pet friendly building. HELL-FREAKING-LO!

    I think people do get a bug stuck way up there sometimes and it never comes out.


  11. Maybe it is the voices in their heads that is too loud for them:-)

  12. OMG - this was a hilarious post! man, i thought you were going to say that the 'crazies'were moving out - but instead they called the cops while you guys were sleeping. puahahahah! love it.

    love your writing as well :)

  13. Good grief - what a headache!! I would rather mow the grass and shovel the driveway than put up with that (plus that is what a husband is for LOL).

  14. OMG!! What a nutjob!! I am sorry this is happening to you, I can totally relate. I had a nutjob living below me once. What a nightmare.

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  16. OMGoodness, That is riduculous and hilarious at the same time!! Love your outlook. I would so not be able to keep my cool. Living above a women who hit my floor with a broomstick for vacume. I would telling her to stuff it where the sun don't shine. I think your way of looking at it is much better. I will try to laugh at the crazies with you!!

  17. Oh I was waiting for the broomstick as I was reading....but then the cops, even better!

    I think those used to be my neighbors - LOL

  18. Hello, NE Bloggers!
    Our 1-year anniversary is coming up on Jan 27. To mark the occasion I am going to put up a Mr. Linky on the evening of Monday, January 25. If you'd like to write a post about living in NE, fav places to visit, funny stories and stereotypes, recipes, photos of our gorgeous landscape, anything, it would be great if you would link in. I'd also like a little idea of # of participants, if you could just send me a reply.
    Since I don't have emails from everyone, I'm also leaving this message in your comments, sorry for the double-up.

  19. Ah yes, the neighbors that think the world is their personal oyster. I am sure that the drunk drivers, murderers and thieves really appreciated the break they got while the cops went and checked on a false disturbing the peace matter.

  20. So freaking funny. I have a feeling that there will be ore delicious installments to this saga!

  21. Ha Ha Ha Ha.....Some people just need to complain...I bet they are cat people...just sayin. Hope the harassment ends here.


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