On Twitter, Blogger, Weight Watchers and Self Esteem
I am not what most people would refer to as a "fragile" person.
Actually, many might even consider me arrogant, full of myself, or if they are trying to be nice - confident.
The thing of it is.... I'm not arrogant. No, I'm not really totally fragile, either, mind you, but I don't actually have the self confidence that I apparently exude. I can be broken and it isn't nearly as hard as I make it seem on the outside.
So, that being the case...Twitter and Blogger don't help! No...I know that's funny, but seriously...think about it....it's like freaking high school all over again!!! You have the 'popular' bloggers and the Tweeters that all 'hang out' (online, of course, seeing as they live all over the world) and the ones that go to the big conferences like the recent BlogHer event and the ones that have companies knocking down their headers just to get these people to mention them in a Tweet or a blog post. And yet....I am none of the above. CRAP! It's happening all over again! LOL! High School! And to think - I thought by the time I hit thirty it would all be behind me! HA!
So this is the thing....the other day I was chatting with someone that I work with very briefly on Twitter. If you are a Twitter user, you know that every conversation is totally public, but that's part of the fun...anyone can jump in! So, over the course of grand total of about six tweets back and forth I managed to INSTANTLY lose 2 followers. Okay...no biggie...obviously they can't handle the fact that someone might have a different opinion than they do and so they decided they don't like me simply because of that despite the fact that they liked me fine prior to that....hmmmm...that makes sense. LOL!
Now yes, this could have been sheer coincidence, but let's be honest, here...it's not likely in this particular case. Just trust me on this one.
Then there is the blog. I have that cute little followers widget over there on the right side of my blog because I absolutely LOVE to see the faces of those who read my blog! I get so excited with each and every comment and I just really enjoy the community that evolves around blogging. It's crazy wicked fun! The thing is...the other day....(just before the Twitter incident) I lost a small bunch of followers!
I was so sad!
Seriously! And these people, I know I didn't likely offend, seeing as I tend to avoid the offensive on my blog, just 'cause I like you guys and stuff. So they just left because they find me boring? Obnoxious? Unlikeable?
These are the things that went through my head.
OR...the reality of it is that Blogger tends to drop followers from time to time, as those of you with Blogger Blogs already know so well, and some people only follow for giveaway purposes and then unfollow after that because they just don't have time or aren't really interested in your subject matter.
All of the above are reasonable. So why the BLOODY HECK did it bug me so much to see that number go down? Maybe I am fragile.
And then....the BIG ONE. The GREAT BIG HIT to my self esteem happened on Wednesday night.
I am sure I have mentioned Weight Watchers before, no? Well, anyway, last summer I joined and I hit my goal weight after several months and I was THRILLED! I mean, I felt better, I looked great, and I felt SO GOOD about myself! So, I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers and now I go in once a month to weigh in and prove that I am maintaining and it is all free as long as I stay within two pounds of my goal weight.
On Wednesday evening, for the very first time since I reached my goal weight I had to PAY!!!
I cried all the way home. LOL! I am so NOT even kidding you! I MUST be fragile! HA!
So how much was I over? 2.8 lbs.
Yes. I was over my goal by less than 3 lbs. And that managed to get to me THAT much! Seriously? WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME? As my husband kindly pointed out, one could easily lose that much simply by pooping. (LMAO! Sorry if that was too much info, but I really couldn't leave it out! LOL!)
But here is the thing....I'm fine about all of the above now. No, not because I've justified any of it, but rather because I realized that it REALLY DOESN'T MATTER!
Am I defined by my Twitter Follower Count? Ummm... let me think.....
Am I less of a person if I don't have a GAGILLION blog followers? Ummm.... let me think about that one, too......
Is it okay if my weight fluctuates just a bit here and there as long as I stay healthy and take care of my body?
And I'm not alone...I know others have been saddened by the loss of a Twitter follower, blogger follower, or some other little insignificant thing, so this is why I am writing this post today.
You are you! Not who any social media number or classification determines you to be! Not even who the number on the scale tries to tell you who you are....nope....you are just you.
There are far more important things in life to worry about. So I beg of you ... DON'T let those types of things even touch your self esteem. Be happy.
Oh...and I happened to see the number of people subscribed to my blog has gone up drastically, so even if you aren't public followers, I know you are out there, and for THAT I am thankful! LOL!
Oh, yeah....and I really am THAT AWESOME!
Posted by Jingle